2 Days Until NLCS
Are the Phillies really better than the Giants? I mean, isn't it difficult to say?
No, it is not difficult. The Phillies are better.
Or are they?
Yes, yes they are.
But regardless, let's do a comparison. For batters, we'll use OPS as the stat. It's not perfect, but better than, say, the grounded into a soul-crushing double play index (GISCDPI). I looked up that particular stat and found:
GISCDPI MAJOR LEAGUE LEADERS
1. Pablo Sandoval 865
2. Jose Guillen 564
3. Colby Rasmus 7
Yikes.
Alright, here we go:
Left Field: Pat Burrell (872) vs. Raul Ibanex (793)
Edge to the Giants. Pat Burrell also is the one more likely to say "hey...how YOU doing?" despite the fact that Raul's name is "Raul."
Center Field: Andres Torres (823) vs. Shane Victorino (756)
Giants again. I see no end to this trend of the Giants having better hitters than the Phillies.
Right Field: Cody Ross (735) vs. Jayson Werth (921)
Damn. They both kind of look like hippy monks, by the way.
Third Base: Pablo Sandoval (732) vs. Placido Polanco (726)
Hahahaha.. Pablo wins! Have you watched Pablo hit this year? And Polanco is worse? Let's compare strikeouts....let's see, Polanco struck out....hmmm. Never mind.
Shortstop: Juan Uribe (749) vs. Jimmy Rollins (694)
Um. Wow. Bad year, Jimmy. I think that's 4 out of 5 for the G-men.
2nd Base: Freddy Sanchez (739) vs. Chase Utley (832)
I thought we had that one...
1st Base: Aubrey Huff (891) vs. Ryan Howard (859)
Huff Daddy! We win again. This is weird.
Catcher: Buster Posey (862) vs. Carlos Ruiz (847)
But Carlos has never healed lepers.
And finally:
TOTAL RUNS SCORED:
Phillies 772
Giants 697
Where did our runs go? We have better hitters than the juggernaut Phillies at 6 of 8 positions, but we scored 80 less runs. Where did they go? Oh, right.
Damn.
Here's a sample inning for you, from the NLDS:
Torres singles (OPS 2000)
Sanchez singles (OPS 2000)
Huff strikes out (OPS 0)
Torres thrown out stealing
Posey walks (OPS 1000)
Burrell walks (OPS 1000)
Uribe strikes out (OPS 0)
Inning OPS: 1166
Runs Scored: 0
Or this one, from Game 1 of the NLDS:
Posey triples (4000)
Burrell strikes out (0)
Uribe walks (1000)
Sandoval GISCDP (0)
Inning OPS: 1500
Runs Scored: 0
So the answer to the question "why do the Phillies have a better offense than the Giants?" is:
Because we suck at life.
Or, I guess, because we strike out too much and hit into too many double-plays.
Some day, we'll have an inning like this:
Huff triples (4000)
Posey doubles, Huff holds at 3rd (3000)
Burrell singles, Huff holds at 3rd (2000)
Sandoval GISCTP (0)
Inning OPS: 2250
Runs Scored: 0
And finally, the Padres sample inning:
Venable reaches on error (0)
Venable steals 2nd
Eckstein grounds out to 2nd, Venable to 3rd (0)
Tejada reaches on catchers' interference (0)
Gonzalez walks (1000)
Ludwick hits sac fly (0)
Hairston Jr. reaches on fielder's choice/E6 (0)
Hairston III singles to pitcher (1000)
Hairston Sr. hit in head with pitch, remembers where he left dentures (1000)
Stairs strikes out, reaches 1st on catcher's error. (0)
Durango singles to shortstop, Hairston Jr, Hairston III, Hairston Sr. score on fielder's interference (1000)
Venable strikes out (0)
Inning OPS: 038
Runs Scored: 5
ok, one more. The Rockies!
Gonzalez triples to right (4000)
Tulowitzki homers to left (5000)
Helton singles to left (2000)
Gonzalez doubles to right (3000)
Tulowitzki triples to shorstop (4000)
Gonzalez homers to center (5000)
(Walk-off)
Today's Poll Question:
Which Philly hitter scares you the most?
A) Werth. Oh, you mean, like, during the game? I thought you meant like if you were sitting at home and it's raining and your'e alone and there's a knock on the door and you open it and there's a dude in a raincoat holding an axe. Definitely Werth. Definitely not Victorino. He would look hilarious in a raincoat. I'd probably laugh and tell him to come back after Jersey Shore is over.
B) Polanco. He is the most likely to hit the ball to Pablo.
C) Oswalt. He has that "i dont' know what the hell I'm doing up here oh look i hit a double" vibe
D) UtleyHowardWerthRollinsVictorinoIbanezRuiz. Can't we play the Braves again?
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